is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
