Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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