Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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