EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
