We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
