I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
