i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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