dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
