i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize