I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
