she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
