Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
