i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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