thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
