Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
