Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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