I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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