apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week