my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Randomize
