my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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