Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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