I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
