I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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