i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
