I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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