We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
