i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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