who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
