think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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