found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize