i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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