I'm going to rape someone's good day.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
