Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
