I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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