ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
