I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
