i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
