I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
