Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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