Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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