Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
