True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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