I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
