She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
