She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
