i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
