Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
