I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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