my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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