i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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