Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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