return my video game
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
