my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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