There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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