I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
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Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
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I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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