And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
