its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
