Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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