guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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