Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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