like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
