I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
