your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
