It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
